Do the Little Things

We all have big plans and dreams for our lives. Whether it’s finding your dream job, writing a bestselling book, starting an impactful organization, or buying a house by the lake. Whatever our dreams, we all have them. And once we set our minds on achieving that dream, it’s natural to push away anything else that doesn’t directly contribute to that goal.

However, studies have shown that people at the end of life rarely look back and remember all the big things they have done. They don’t reminisce about the money they have made, the possessions they have acquired, or the interviews they have given. Rather, they remember simple things – like the night in front of the fireplace singing songs with the kids, laughter shared with friends or the feeling of holding hands with a loved one as the sun sets below the horizon.

Those simple, small moments are usually the ones most felt by the people around you as well. The conversations you have with your grandchildren help shape the lives they live. The food and time you donate to your local shelter send a ripple of kindness and compassion into the world that you may never witness. The time you spend watching your friend’s kids so that she can go on a job interview creates a better life for an entire family.

Now, you may very well be the next best-selling author. You might inspire the world while speaking on a stage for hundreds or thousands of people. You may invent something that makes life easier. That could be your destiny. However, most people will never leave their names in the history books or even amass a million followers on Instagram.

But everybody can do something impactful right now for the people around them. And doing something kind for another is the one sure way of knowing that you have made a difference today.

And as you look back on your life, it is the small moments that are most likely to bring you warmth, contentment, and fulfillment.

What Little Thing Can You Do Today to Make a Difference in Someone Else’s Life?

Make Your Moments Matter

There are some experiences in life that hit you like a freight train. They’re so big, so magnificent, so impactful that you can hardly help but feel humbled and awed by them. The Grand Canyon. The Great Pyramids. The birth of your child. A thunderstorm over the ocean. Falling in love. These experiences leave you wide-eyed and breathless, if only for a few moments.

Then there are the smaller moments…The way the sun shines through the clouds and bounces off the trees. The sounds of friends and family chatting in the local café. The coolness of a breeze as it whispers across your skin. The intoxicating rhythm of your favorite song. Bubbles in a warm bath.

While they’re easily looked over and often forgotten, every one of these moments has the potential to stop you in your tracks and leave you filled with awe, joy, and wonder. The trick lies within your attention.

The big experiences of life command your full attention, and that’s what makes them great. That’s what makes them meaningful. However, your day-to-day activities and experiences can be filled with meaning simply by giving them your attention.

You can consciously create a meaningful moment for yourself and others by intentionally bringing the full weight of your awareness to it. Activate your senses. Choose to be present, and suddenly you’ll find that the smallest of moments hold the magnitude of the entire universe…and you get to enjoy every bit of it.

And you don’t have to just wait for one to come along. That’s one of the beauties of being human…you can create them! And it doesn’t have to cost much if anything at all.

This happiness isn’t dependent on having the right job, finding the right partner, buying the right car, or finally retiring from “the grind.” It’s here for you, now, quietly calling to you from the soft edges of your awareness.

All you have to do is listen, and the least becomes the greatest.

Don’t You Want Your Life Back?

How many times has it felt like the week’s over before it’s begun?

There are work duties, household responsibilities, loved ones to care for. Before you know it, the day’s over. A week’s gone by. It’s next month already. While you’re reading this, there’s probably a whole to-do list bouncing around in your head.

We push ourselves to go and go, but it’s essential to make yourself stop sometimes. Even if it’s in small ways.

If you aren’t taking charge of your life, then something else will, whether it be other people or things or time commitments. There are many simple ways you can stop giving your power to others and redirect it back to yourself.

And you’re never too busy to start!

To your Peace, Happiness, and Well-being,

Brenda Mary Love

Top 10 Ways to Take Charge of Your Life

Too often we take care of other people’s needs, never getting to the activities that would have the most meaning for us. Here are 10 ways to take back your life.

  1. Create goals. Get clear on what you really want, write it down and start to take action toward your goals.

 

  1. Commit to your own agenda. As much as possible, before helping others each day, complete the tasks that move you toward your goals.

 

  1. Set boundaries. When you heed your own agenda, you will likely need to set boundaries with the people in your life.

 

  1. Say no when you want to. Respecting your true desires is liberating.

 

  1. Do something you’ve always wanted to do. Fulfilling long-held wishes brings joy and empowerment.

 

  1. Seek balance. Which of these aspects needs attention: social/family, spiritual/creative, career or health?

 

  1. Eat well and exercise. Take charge of your energy by treating your body well.

 

  1. Clear clutter. Creating an orderly and beautiful physical environment positively affects our sense of internal order and makes space for the new.

 

  1. Pursue completion. Avoiding unfinished tasks, things that remain unsaid and relationships that need closure hijack our thoughts and saps our energy.

 

  1. Get support/find allies. Get help processing uncomfortable feelings and seek friendships with people who appreciate and support you taking charge of your life.

————–

Brenda Mary Love is a health and wellness coach and author of Change Your Stories Despite the Diagnosis. After overcoming multiple mental illnesses as a teenager, she spent close to three decades building a successful career in the corporate world. During this time, she found her true calling: helping others overcome some of the toughest mental roadblocks. She has been empowering people who want to do better in life, but don’t know where to start. She has revitalized hundreds of men and women with a new sense of purpose, enabling them to trust their own abilities and be more productive than they have ever been. Find out how she can help you rewrite your destiny:

The overall Motivation for me to write my book were many

All of us have had an experience of feeling powerless and disempowered. Especially when we have people in our life who don’t agree with our lifestyle or views on life. Their words and actions can be devastating and can lead to lifelong trauma if the situation is serious enough. We may not even know when our power is being taken from us, due to our programming growing up.

We’ve probably also experienced moments where we felt empowered and we were able to move through the experience with our dignity and choices intact. Having personal power is an important part
of our well-being.

After writing my book and contemplating my stories and how they’ve helped me overcome my life challenges of dealing with chronic fatigue, losing weight and overcoming addictions, I’ve realized that I am empowered to make my life exciting and robust. Although it takes some self-discovery and learning how to love and care for yourself to do this.

The goals for my book are to tell my stories that led to mental health illnesses and want to remove the stigma of this illness and others. How the effects of the drama, trauma, and tribulations in life, have led to the dis-ease and diagnosis of depression and fibromyalgia. I refer to my diagnosis as “the diagnosis” as to not label myself as the illness.

I believe exposure to the dramas and traumas has contributed to my mental, emotional and spiritual well being. And eventually led to physical symptoms of pain and suffering.

If the cause of your illness or ailments is left untreated, a person may spiral into sadness, hopelessness, depression, or in the most extreme cases, addiction to food, drugs or alcohol. By sharing my stories and challenges, I hope to help others see that there is hope when they are willing to make positive changes in their life by seeking out alternative therapies or professional counseling. As you may come to know habit change is not easy and some of us require counseling and guidance in this area.

I do have faith and will strive to assist others to find their “why” to their suffering and challenges. I now believe that I’ve experienced dramas and traumas for reasons that I may assist others on their journey of discovery. With all my life experiences and education in health and wellness, I’ve come to realize that I am now a holistic expert. As a Holistic Practioner, I will strive to become more compassionate and aware of other people’s challenges. As you may have experienced we all become better at something once we practice doing it wholeheartedly.

I really find it challenging myself and am hurt by it. The behavior of others I know, who are so addicted to a substance that they would risk the relationship with you if you do not give in to their demands. Now, this is what I call emotional blackmail. This is when we need to voice our boundaries and be assertive. Anyway, it is easy to forgive and move on to a better relationship.

The overall theme of my book is to help you Change Your Story

The overall theme of my book is to help you Change Your Story – despite your diagnosis or prognosis for a bleak future of living with the disease. I want to give hope to you and others suffering from pain and addictions or any other challenges you are experiencing.

The goals for my book are to share my stories that, although have led to emotional breakdowns and mental health illnesses, have also made me realize that life is good and is in our ability to make it better. With perseverance and a desire for something better, I want to show ways to help you overcome your challenges.

When one allows the effects of the drama, trauma, and tribulations in life lead to dis-ease and diagnosis of chronic fatigue syndrome, depression, and burn-out. These symptoms of dis-ease are reminding us of our need for life balance and self-discovery that we may no longer deny.

As I have stated in my book, I refer to my diagnosis as “the diagnosis” as to not label myself as these, for we are more than what others label us to be. However, overcoming and healing may require you to work with your health care provider and explore other alternative therapies to ensure you are the best version of who you want to be.

It may be as simple as ensuring that our basic needs of survival are being met. That is for nutritious food, drinking enough water, getting some fresh air, and being with nature; getting some vitamin D from the sun and incorporating physical movement in our daily lives. If any of these are less than optimal, we may become imbalanced and suffer from mild to chronic ailments.

Being out of balance in any of these could affect our outer world, or our communal and social relationships, our spiritual connection to something greater than ourselves; our intellectual development; our physical and environmental health, and our emotional state of well being.

If any of these imbalances are left untreated, a person may have dis-ease and spiral into depression and addiction or suffer from other ailments. By sharing my stories and challenges, I hope to help you and others see that there is hope to becoming healthy and whole when you are willing to make positive changes in your life by exploring other alternative therapies, coaching, or counseling.

As spiritual beings having a human experience, we are all prone to addictions or unhealthy habits. An unhealthy obsession, such as overindulging in food or other harmful substances to mask our emotions, becomes habitual. As you may come to know, habit change is not easy, and some of us require counseling and guidance in this area. I do believe and will strive to assist others in finding their “why” to their suffering and challenges and find their way to a more fulfilling life.

I now believe that I’ve experienced dramas and traumas for reasons that I may assist you, and others embrace your journey of discovering the true you. With all my life experiences and education in health and wellness, I’ve come to realize that I am now becoming a holistic expert.

My persistence to overcome and learn new ways of coping and dealing with the trials and tribulations of life have made me realize how vulnerable and, at the same time, how resilient we become when facing our challenges.

To Your Health and Success,

Brenda Mary Love

What inspired me to write my book?

As I may have alluded to in my book Change Your Story – Despite the Diagnosis. I’ve been suffering with Depression and low self esteem for as long as I can remember which is most of my life. I have also allowed others to take my power away by their mistreatment of me and feeling taken advantage of. If this sounds like you, may I suggest we confront this issue together.

You see, I now want to live a healthy lifestyle and be confident in my abilities. I want to let you in on my story of then and now and how I am becoming well and loving life to its fullest.

I no longer want to be the victim of my circumstances or historical issues. I want to learn how to deal with my diagnosed symptoms in the most natural and authentic way. I want others to know that this world is a good place to be. I wrote my book based on my past experiences because I felt that they may have contributed to my illnesses. Besides my own self sabotaging ways, I have allowed others to mistreat me. However,  along my journey there have been many positive people supporting me.

I don’t want my past or the past of my people to drag me into a negative spiral of self-loathing and feeling sorry for my self. I’ve seen the effects of what living in the past can do to a person and those ways are not very healthy. Life is tough and this cannot be denied, but if problems are met head-on and dealt with keeping hope and faith, things do turn around for the better. I consider myself a living example, and I’ve been encouraged to acknowledge this. I want to encourage others to change their outlook so they may also change how their life story turns out for the better. I do not want to see others suffer like most of my family and siblings did, due to unresolved conflict and family karma. But to live according to our dharma, which is for the good of all.

I always strive to be positive even if, at certain times, I feel run down and exhausted. Although these days, I am exhausted in a good way knowing that I am working towards my own health and helping others find theirs. I still have the aches and pains stemming from the fibromyalgia, but I know when my body needs rest and I take the time to give it the self care it needs.

If you want to join me in becoming healthier and more authentic then stay tuned and we will conquer this together.